She is in my trunk
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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