Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
