we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
