I didn't shave. On purpose
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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