my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
