im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
