They should really pass out barf bags in church
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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