just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
