When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
