hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
