i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
