I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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