Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
