I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
