I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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