I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
