in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
