I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
