Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize