i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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