the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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