your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
