Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
