I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
