You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
