Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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