Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
