I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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