I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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