ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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