FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
