I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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