before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize