hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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