You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize