Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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