I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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