There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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