this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
