There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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