I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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