my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
