I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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