Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
