I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
