Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
