he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
