I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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