when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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