did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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