so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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