lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
