too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
