i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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