My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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