plz talk dirty to me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
