just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
