you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
