so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
