Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
