What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
