ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize