So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
