i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize