I hate your face
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
