First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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